Rant & quick CD update...

I had to wait until today to say thank you to y'all for the comments on my last post. I was so touched that I had the support from you. I'm so glad for finding this blog if only for the support and knowing I'm not a horrible person when my Father-in-law posts pics of my nephew on facebook and I want to throw the computer out the window or break down and cry- both are viable options.

Anyways, I promised Roxanne I'd post on here more crap that's happening (namely b/c I don't want to put it on my own blog due to in-laws reading it and I don't want them to feeling bad for me when they're rejoicing in everything else). So we went on vacation last month, we knew that we would be going up to Utah for the baby blessing of my nephew in April. I've been telling myself "it's okay, it'll only be for a couple of days- you can make it." Yeah, that was until I realized my brother-in-law will also be getting married in April, so I'll be around the baby even more. I honestly don't know how I'll handle it. I love my in-laws so very much! I love the people the are and would never want to hurt them in any ANY way. But to see how happy they are about baby Jack feels like a knife going through my heart. Namely because I want it to be our child. I want them to be excited for us. I may be an attention hog, I realize that. But when I dream about finding out I'm pregnant- I dream about telling them first (after my dh of course) and the excitement they'll show. It just continues to feel as if my dream is being ripped away from me. Anyways, to add on top of that, while in Utah I'll of course have to see one of my best friends. (I honestly forgot that she was in Utah and told her we'd be up there, otherwise I probably wouldn't go see her b/c of all this. Some friend I am.) She is pregnant with #2 and I am not in agreement with this pregnancy. She's only been married for 2 years and neither of them is really working. But that's for another rant. Oh, and yeah, she's due for the weekend we're there.

So yeah, in short- I don't know how to handle April and want to hide away through everything. I wouldn't mind going and crying right now, but I don't want to worry my sweetheart. I'm really feeling low today. And I'm not even taking any hormones! Okay, enough of my rant.

Just an update- CD 10 and hoping I ovulate on my own again this month. Good luck to all this month!