hello {echo} is anyone out there???

not sure if anyone even reads this blog anymore...so many of our original group had babies {yay}...but some of us I know are still around and I know there are more we should add. Who wants to join me in doing our TTC happy hour again? I'm willing to coordinate the blog and chat if there are people who are interested!!

Comment and let me know or just email me at anuttierlife {at} gmail {dot} com

-tillie

Something New

So DH and I had our second consultation with our new RE yesterday afternoon. We had had a new semen analysis done and my AMH level tested, and finally got all the records from our old fertility clinic over to him, so we wanted to review all that and get his opinion.

First of all, he pointed out some errors the old clinic made in our records, basically details in the notes that were inaccurate. We already knew they tend to ignore details, and that's one of the main reasons we left there. So it just solidified our reasoning behind going to a new clinic.

Second, he has diagnosed me with a mild/moderate form of PCOS - one that makes my  O dates a little wonky, but still allows me to O about once a month, and more importantly, that he is convinced is hurting my egg quality and thereby could be causing my miscarriages. So, I've started taking metformin. I'm totally excited about this just because it's something NEW I can do!

Third, he suggested DH get his thyroid levels checked, because hypothyroid can contribute to poor sperm morphology (DH's main fertility challenge). Did you know this? DH has a BMI that rides the fence between overweight and obese, and just now we're finding this out? All he has to do is take a simple blood test, for crying out loud! Anyway, it might turn out that his thyroid is normal, but there you have it.

Finally, DH and I have yet to decide whether or not we are going to do IVF for sure, but now, having seen a Doc who makes some sense, bothers to explain everything and answer questions willingly, even excitedly(!), we are finally having the serious discussions we need to have to reach a decision. These have not been easy convos. There have been tears and arguments, but we are becoming closer through it all. If we do IVF, we will probably plan for the February 28, 2011 monitoring cycle.

Although, I'm still hoping for a spontaneous pregnancy before then, thanks to Metformin. ;-)

~ Jamie,

Comfort and Advice Needed

So I've been delaying writing this post. Unsure when to write it. But I figured y'all could provide some comfort and advice. Especially with how scared and freaked out I am.

See, we finally did it- got our BFP. It was a total shock. As of today I'm 6 weeks 4 days. I already went to my first visit last week- so far everything is normal and my hSG levels are right where they should be.

Yet I am still super scared. I don't want to miscarry and I have yet to really allow myself to be happy and relax. My mom said when she miscarried, it was at 7 weeks. So you can probably understand my trepidation. I'm trying to schedule my first ultrasound the earliest my doctor said- on the 15th. I just have this huge fear that we will go and there won't be a heartbeat.

I probably wouldn't think twice about miscarrying except that it's taken us 2 & 1/2 years to get here and I don't want to let go.

Then I fell off a golfcart this past weekend and was so mad. It was my own doing and to endanger the baby? I can't believe I did that! I cried more over that than the pain- which has been bad.

Anyways, any words of comfort or advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm already a worry wart and I'm even freaked out more than usual. Please just let this stick! I just want a healthy baby and I'm so scared of losing it. I'll be posting more on my personal blog soon. I'm still super nervous about telling the world. Okay, maybe more scared that I'll jinx it by putting it out there. Like I said, I am so super scared! Hope somebody can help here.


- Brittany

Afraid

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that as my time on the Femara is winding down, it means that this really isn't going to happen for me. After this cycle, if I'm not pregnant, I only have one more cycle to try before going to the RE. I don't want to have to make that trip. I don't want to have to call my doctor who I love so much and tell him that it didn't work. I don't want to have to struggle.

My insurance doesn't cover anything past a diagnosis as far as fertility goes. We are not insanely rich, we can't afford to pay for things right now, theres no way we could afford a surgery that's not covered, treatments that aren't covered, medicine that's not covered.

I don't feel like I should have to worry about how I'm going to come up with the money to get pregnant. I guess the insurance companies don't feel like its a necessity. Who are they to decide what we do or do not need in our lives?

I'm afraid that I'm going to be mad at every pregnant girl in the world forever. I'll turn old and bitter. My friends with kids will stop calling me because I'm always so sad. My family will call me the crazy one. I'll have to get like cats, or chinchillas or something.

I'm afraid. And I'm sick of being afraid.

Update From Ana

I have not posted on here in a while. My life went from not much going on and a lot of waiting to very busy.
My DH and I went through our first IVF cycle this past month. We found out Monday that we are pregnant. YAY! A BFP. Also, today is my Birthday. What a great week it has been. Hope all is well with all of you.

Frustrated- Just Frustrated

It's been a while since I've written on here. But as I am needing someplace to go before I go crazy, I'm here.

I'm feeling a bit mad and frustrated because I am so tired of each month getting a BFN. I'm 11DPO and part of me has my hopes up. Cramps each day and over the top sore boobs for the past 11 days is just a little out of the ordinary for me. But I hate that as I get my hopes up, I dash them immediately afterwards. I can't stand to let myself get my hopes up.

I really need to schedule to go see a doctor, maybe even just go to my previous doctor just so I don't have to wait for months on end to become a new patient elsewhere. He was good, just not very aggressive. Which is something I want. Last time I went, almost a year ago, he wanted me to get an HSG and David to get a SA. We haven't had the money to do it since insurance doesn't cover it. So I'm a wimp because I don't want him asking about it. But we'd do it this time because now we've ruled out some possibilities ourselves.

I'm just a frustrated gal with hope brewing that maybe this could be our month.

46 hours and 3 red bulls later.

Well. It all started 8pm Sunday night, my mum hadn't been feeling well all day but at 8 she started getting really wheezy and couldn't breathe properly. Spoke to a GP on the phone who sent an ambulance. It came and we were getting sorted for going to hospital. I thought we were going to the one that is literally 4 mins away by car/ambulance. But no, the paramedics decided they wanted to go to a hospital 40 miles away!! Leaving me with an ill mum and stranded because I don't drive and we have no relatives.

Come 4am, mum is still poorly but stable enough to move to a ward. She was and still is in a lot of pain :(

I left about 10am, I was exhausted, had been up over a day. Took the 2nd bus journey then another bus and finally got home.

I'd just got comfy in bed when the phone rang. Mum was really poorly and was asking for me. I got dressed and went back on another bus and then the 2nd bus again to get there.

When I got there she was really upset. She told me that she thought she was gonna die. My mum is a non practicing Methodist but she even asked for the hospital vicar (a family friend) to come see her.

That had me crazy worried. She's having a lot of problems with her lungs which will hopefully be sorted by wednesday.

For now, you know everything I do.

I want to thank ALL the amazing people on twitter who sent me the most lovely tweets, I was reading them in the ambulance and I read some to mum :) I can't thank you all enough! It really does mean a lot to me when i know there are people who care <3

Very erotic experience.

*warning* this is a funny post but I appreciate it may not be tasteful to some, contains references of strippers and male nudity.


I'm sharing this on my blog and also the happy hour blog because this story is honestly to good to miss!

I'd heard a local bar was doing a ladies night with a drag queen and strippers, I was in! I roped in a friend to go with me.

The drag queen was amazing! He was so funny, he was called Candy Couture and he kissed me!!

Then the first stripper came on! He was dressed up as a gladiator, with the loincloth and everything :D he was dancing and stripping, he got down to his thongs *drools* and grabbed this poor girl,picked her up and started humping her !! That was so funny and oh so kinky lol! Then everything came off!!! He poured baby lotion all over himself and I mean EVERYWHERE. then he was dancing around nude practically in womens faces! He.was.hot.

Then number 2 came on, he was a policeman, did the dancing then stripping, got to his pants, then got a girl from the audience, handcuffed and blindfolded her and rubbed her hands all over him! He was so sexy :D

The number 3 came on as a sailor!!! He was my favourite, so hot !! He did dancing and stripped, then he was dancing with fire with only thongs on! Then he come round to me and poured baby oil in my hands, went back to the stage, took EVERYTHING else off then came back to me !!! I rubbed him ALL over with baby oil, how kinky does it get ?!?! My friend was practically peeing herself! Then he sat on my lap!! I wasnt expecting it lol there was grinding and bum groping involved too!! Honestly, if I had dropped dead I would have died happy! Including a pic of him humping my friend before he got naked ;)






Pic of me and someone I knew from school after it finished, I'm on the left :)





I had an amazing time !! And I did plenty of groping for all my twitter ladies who couldn't be there :P



Posted from my iPod touch.

Update From Ana

Before I give you all a long over due update I have a question. What happened to the background?

Now, onto the update. After a long three month wait my DH and I found out that my FSH level is even higher than it was in May, it went from 30something to 88. So, we are using an egg donor. Which our egg donor is going through IVF too. So, here we are two infertile couples trying to help each other conceive. If you would like to read the whole story please click here and here.

We are well on our way and hopefully we will be pregnant by mid October.

Ana

After all the waiting..

Drum roll please !!!

AF showed up on Friday!!!! I was so happy. I mean happy, I've been waiting so long and worrying my head off. I was having pre-AF symptoms on Thursday so I knew AF was coming. Then on friday she showed up! My periods are never easy and this one is no different, I got AWFUL cramps but I can live with that, I'm just happy that it showed up.

I have an app on my iPod called period tracker and when I opened it to mark my period staring I got this lol






Posted from my iPod touch.

Where is AF !?!?

I'm going bonkers. Bonkers I tell you! I have tried everything to get things 'going', ginger,parsley tea, herbs. All manner of strange things that are supposed to do the job. I got no pre-AF signs. Diddly squat.

This is where I'm at, I use 2 apps on my iPod touch so I've got both pictures :)










Posted from my iPod touch.

Breaking from TTC

Matt and I had a long conversation last night. One of the things we discussed was taking a TTC break. Not because we want to but because emotionally I need it. I have the mind set of let go and let God. Now we aren't going to do any form or birth control so if it happens naturally then great!!! But for now, if it doesn't I have got to focus on getting in better health. I need to get my weight back under control and start mentally andemotionally preparing for the long road to baby. Which I think I am going to name my blog. In the long run, whether I get pregnant now or later, my child will be brought into being through less stress and better health for both of us. I have also decided to go ahead and go to grad school. The way I get the bulk of my schooling done so that when baby does come, I'll be able to devote every minute to him or her!!! If you have any comments or suggestions please feel free to tell me!!! Also I would like to know if anyone else has taken the break and wat they are doing/ did and the benefits!! Thanks sincerely!!!

CD200, waiting and waiting.

Yup, I'm now cycle day 200. My last period was January 13th. No signs of AF turning up anytime soon either. This whole 'sit and wait for it' plan is a pile of crap but I got no choice, so I'm waiting.


Posted from my iPod touch.

Paging Dr. TTC Gals

I really wish I had insurance right now. Not just so we can try to do some baby making and not worry about the money side of things, but I have some issues that I want to talk to a doctor about. But as I don't have one, I'll ask y'all- who have more experience in the TTC world than anybody should have.

First off, I'm not very worried for the moment since I can't do anything about it, but I found some dried blood in my CM this month and it hit me that it's been that way for the past couple months. So I'm worried about it, but nothing I can do right now. Any suggestions would help.

My second thing, which I am much more concerned about namely because it's affecting me right now. I am 6dpo and since Friday I have had horrible cramps. It was my whole pelvic area, now it's where my right ovary is. Tylenol helps for a little while, but the pain won't fully go away. Yesterday it woke me up in the night it was so bad. I hate these. I may just be paging Dr. Google here soon- yes, that extreme. So... Help? Suggestions? Money to go see a doctor?

Been a long time + cycle update

I have a been a bad blogger :( my last post was fathers day !! It's July now so I have no excuses.

Not a lot has really happened. I'm still going to the gym, so that's really good. I haven't lost tons of weight, but I'm going by how I feel more than the scales right now.

The other day I got a letter from the hospital I was referred to saying that the questionnaire you have to fill in to see a bariatric surgeon wasn't done properly, Dr.R was meant to have done this properly. It's not difficult, a child could do it. I was meant to go see her about it but there's no way I'm ever going to her again. So now I'm seeing a new doctor, (I'll call him Dr.S) I'm a bit apprehensive about seeing him because he's a male doctor, I've always had an intense fear of male doctors, no idea why but I have. he looked after my dad when he was dying from cancer so he knows me,hopefully because he knows me it wont be to bad. All I want is this questionnaire filling in properly, if the surgeon won't do anything then that's his choice. Dr.R has nothing to do with it. They also sent me a copy of a letter she sent them that said I was lazy and I had an attitude problem so I didn't deserve their help. That pissed me off. So I'm seeing Dr.S on thursday to try and get this questionnaire thing done.

In other news, I'm now at CD177. Yeah, it's not good. Due to the evil cow Dr.R, I have no choice but to struggle it out. I worry about this a lot. I worry about the risks of cancer and the long term problems that may arise from my unhealthy cycles. I don't see how any doctor can view cycles lasting this long as normal. It's definitely bad. I will try and mention it to new Dr.S and see what he says. If he won't help then I don't know what I'm going to do. They won't refer me to anyone because I'm not TTC and because of my age. I'll just have to see.

Until next time I hope everyone has a great weekend and a special good luck to PCOSchick who is braving niagra falls !


Cara x