Frustrated- Just Frustrated

It's been a while since I've written on here. But as I am needing someplace to go before I go crazy, I'm here.

I'm feeling a bit mad and frustrated because I am so tired of each month getting a BFN. I'm 11DPO and part of me has my hopes up. Cramps each day and over the top sore boobs for the past 11 days is just a little out of the ordinary for me. But I hate that as I get my hopes up, I dash them immediately afterwards. I can't stand to let myself get my hopes up.

I really need to schedule to go see a doctor, maybe even just go to my previous doctor just so I don't have to wait for months on end to become a new patient elsewhere. He was good, just not very aggressive. Which is something I want. Last time I went, almost a year ago, he wanted me to get an HSG and David to get a SA. We haven't had the money to do it since insurance doesn't cover it. So I'm a wimp because I don't want him asking about it. But we'd do it this time because now we've ruled out some possibilities ourselves.

I'm just a frustrated gal with hope brewing that maybe this could be our month.