Broken- CD1

CD1- The wicked witch in red showed up this evening. Like I said earlier this morning, it's a good thing since I have no insurance at the moment- but I still was hoping. It was a challenge I was willing to take on. So here are my thoughts:

I was once again was so sure it would happen this month. It hadn't happened in the best of circumstances so I figured maybe in the worst it would. I also knew when I was ovulating and unplanned, we BD that day. Now I know all signs of former birth control and Clomid is out of my system. My periods are back to the way they were before I stared birth control those many years ago. So I thought with all that, we were going all natural- not preventing, no ovulation stimulators, nothing- I figured it may just work. And it didn't.

Is all of this making sense? I am relieved because of the insurance, but I also feel broken. If we did everything we were supposed to, why didn't it work?You'd think I'd stop asking these questions after two years. I hate being so sure and it not working.

We've decided that once insurance kicks in we are going to find me a new doctor (know of a good GYN in Phoenix?) get the HSG done, and the SA- where we actually get the results, and then stop there. But we had also decided to just focus on moving back to GA, and that's not happening so maybe we will focus on TTC.

Sorry for the ramble. I'm just feeling a little broken and slightly discouraged and fearful of actually going through those tests. Thanks for the listen ladies. I'm so grateful for each of you!