Quick rant

Yes I'm tired and not thinking straight and probably blowing this out of proportion. But I need to rant for a second and y'all will understand.

After two years of working with one of my best friends and manager she left beginning of March. So I got a new manager two weeks later. This week my property got sold so essentially I'm working my old job for a new company. So naturally with all these new changes I've become very stressed and tired and my GERD acts up when stressed, so I'm nauseous. That's the background of the story I'm about to tell.

So my new manager sits me down and wants to talk about how unhappy I seem to be and how much I don't seem to like her. I'm PMSy and start crying and after telling her what she said earlier that pissed me off, I went on about how emotional and hormonal I am. How sick I've been feeling and how tired I am. And that's why I'm stressed. Naturally the prego question comes up. I tell her probably not. After two+ years I don't think the odds are in my favor. She tells me to go buy a pregnancy test and take it. I told her I have two at home(like the freak I am- always keeping PT on hand). Because she's A LOT like my dad and knowing there's no way she'll take no for an answer I walk the 30 seconds home to take the test. Naturally it's a BFN, but I'm not surprised. After all, every good infertile knows afternoon pee isn't as good as morning pee. And that testing 5 days before AF comes, like the box says, will not result in a BFP either. Before I left to test I warned her I may come in bawling. She says I can't be sad if it's a BFN.

So I wasn't. But man! I wish others who didn't have to try so hard realized the emotional (and financial) toll POAS has on someone trying for 2+ years. I mean, I just threw out 6- yes 6- empty pregnancy test boxes. Think of all the money I couldve saved there! All those tears that were shed over BFNs. I'm hoping she is less like my father and keeps her opinion about us TTC to herself. Otherwise I may consider looking for another job. And yes, I realize it's my own darn fault for letting her pressure me into POAS, but after having a sit down of "why don't you like me?" a distraction, like POAS is good. But really, you think I'd tell her first when it's a BFP but not my husband? Crazy! What a day!

-Brittany