Help!

Quick vent before I go to work. Was 98% sure that AF was to show up yesterday. Had the cramps and everything and didn't show up. Then realize I'm supposed to start TODAY. Holy crap! Emotions are all over the place now.

I think I'm going to go crazy waiting today. A large part of me really wants to be pregnant. I just really want this and don't know if I can handle AF right now. But then we can't get pregnant right now- we have no insurance for a couple of months.

My emotions feel so fragile right now and want a good cry, then I'll be fine. But I have to go to work. Help! Sanity would be nice please.

-Brittany

Another Newbie

Hi everyone, my name is Jonelle (In The Middle With You) and my husband's name is Michael. We have been TTC for about 6 years. We did treatments for the last two years consisting of 4 cycles of Clomid and 4 cycles of injectable IUIs.

This past August our last cycle with IUI ended in an early miscarriage. We were offered another cycle, but emotionally and financially we were done with treatments. Michael felt it was time to move on to other options of building a family. I was done too, but I needed help to help me move on and mourn our dream children. So I guess I'm part of the "were at one time TTC" club.

We decided that counselling would be a good idea for us to help us greive before we moved on to domestic infant adoption.

Right now, Michael and I haven't decided on an agency yet. Once he is out of school (he is the Academic Dean at a local Bible college) then we will both be able to focus on what we need to do.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of a great community. I hope I can be a source of support to everyone here.

I'm out

Hi ladies,
Just a quick note...I did come out (after Kate did) and it felt great.  The support was awesome and I feel lighter now.  Like infertility isn't a dirty little secret anymore!  As for my cycle, all I know is AF is due on Thursday, or Friday or Saturday.  What can I say, vacation made me relax and I'm not really counting things right now...days, drinks...calories!  YIKES!  But at least it's fun! 

Check out my blog this week for vacation pics and a really great on on Saturday - trust me, you will drool!  Keep quiet Kate...just cause you know, you can't tell!

Niki
www.nikusroad.blogspot.com

Did You "Come Out"?

Hello fabulous ladies:  I just wanted to check in with everyone and see how you are doing.  Where are you in your cycle?  Trying anything new this month?

Also, how was your National Infertility Awareness Week last week... did you "come out"?

And finally... Mother's Day is this weekend.  Fortunately it's also a regular "happy hour" day, if anyone needs to freak... we'll all be here to support you!

Yes, in still alive!

I have been a terrible blogger ! I think my last week was about 10 days ago.

I haven't really blogged because basically I've had nothing to say. Now we all know I'm very vocal in my opinions but whenever I've sat down to write a post the past week, my mind has gone blank.

In the last days, not a lot has happened. When I say boring I mean it, no drama no nothing, it's actually been quite nice not having anything bad happening. The only news I have is that I got a bike :) I got a good one so I can use it regular and hopefully use it to help with weight loss.

So as mentioned I have nothing to say so I'm just gonna write a 'life update' to keep everything up to date for you all.

*life update*

Ok,so I'm still on orlistat, not taking 3 a day coz they make me ill but i'm trying. Doctor still says no go on the treatment front for the pcos, just lose weight. So the goal is to lose loads of weight so I can get some meds soon !!

'thankyou for listening everyone, I appreciate it a lot !'


Cara x

Update

Well, ladies I have good news. I STARTED my period. Yay. 


That means I start my tests next week and get blood drawn tomorrow. Monday, May 3rd I am going to the doc to get the sonohysterogram done. Then on Thursday, May 6th I am getting the hysterosalpingogram. Then on Friday, May 7th I am getting an ultrasound. What a week. Three days where I am only working a half day. 


Nikki Lynne [waiting on baby]: Thank you for the comment. I am wondering what does RE stand for? Sorry I am new here and behind on what the acronyms stand for. Thank you for following. 


Busted Kate: Thank you for the comment. I think it is interesting that the HSG test clears out down there. I hope it helps. I also hope it helps me get pregnant. Thank you for all the information it did not scare me. Your comment was very helpful. Thank you again. 


infertilefollies: O wow. I hope it is not painful for me. It might be, I suppose it is a waiting game. I will definitely remember to keep in mind to ask, what if my tubes are blocked. I will also make sure to take some pain pills before hand. Thank you for the great information and for sharing your experience. 


Thank you all again. 


Lastly, I wanted to share that the radiologist said that the dye is part iodine or something. I am highly allergic to shellfish and some seafood. The radiologist said that I could have the same or worst or no reaction to the dye as I would to shellfish/sea food. However, I told them that I have had the injection dye (needle to the arm kind) for a bone scan test. They said that it is similar to that dye but I could still have a reaction. I am kind of scared. Ahhhhh! Update later. Have a good night. 

Hi Ya'll (Lengthy)

Hello Ladies, 


I suppose I will start by introducing myself to you all. Then I will tell you where my husband and I are at in our TTC process.


I am Ana, I am 23years old. My husband and I have been married since May 2006. I am also a soon to be college graduate (December). Yay!


As far as fertility goes my husband and I have been TTC since late 2006. We started by seeing a endocrinologist. He told us that I have premature ovarian failure. Therefore since then we have done all types of blood work, different combinations of hormone treatments. Recently (within the last eight months), my OBGYN had me get an ultrasound, tahe different combinations of estrogen and progesterone, then we did four treatments of clomid. Nothing has worked and I still do not have a period. I haven't had a period since I was thirteen. Doctors keep  trying different hormone cocktails to try and get me to get a period, I never do. 


So, in February my husband and I decided to go to a fertility center/fertility specialist. We called to make an appointment and the soonest available appointment was April 1st. Happy April Fools Day. We went to that appointment and the doctor told us that their was no evidence to back up my premature ovarian failure diagnosis. So, we have to figure out what is wrong with me. 


On April 2nd I started taking 60mg of estrogen daily for twenty one days. Then on April 16th I started taking provera for ten days. Which I think I accidentally took two pills in one day. But, moving on I have been off the pills since the 24th. I am now waiting to see if I have a period. Well, it has been four days now and nothing. I have to call my doctor tomorrow and let her know I have not gotten my period. Which breaks my heart. 


The next step is to get a physical, give blood and a urine sample. All of those will happen on what should be day three of my period. Then on day seven, eight, nine or ten I will have to get two more tests done. Test one being a  sonohysterogram, which is where fluid is inserted into my uterine cavity to check for any possible lesions. Test two being a hysterosalpingogram, which is an x-ray where my fallopian tubes are checked to make sure they are open. Has anyone ever had these tests done? If so please share your experience with me. 


So, I guess that within the next couple days or so I will be starting this new round of tests. Then on May 13th we go back to the fertility clinic. At that appointment we will find out the results of all the tests and blood work. We will also be given a proper diagnosis. We will finally know what is wrong with me for sure this time. No, mis-diagnosis this time around. After we know what is actually wrong with me we can find out how to conceive. 


I should mention that my husband has no fertility problem. He gave a semen sample a couple weeks ago. The results show he had a high sperm count. 


I suppose that is it for now. Thank you for reading, the support and for letting me join your blog. Sorry my blog is so long. 


Thank you again Ladies. 

Some News...

Hello my wonderful ladies:

I hope you'll forgive me telling you this today.  I wanted to wait to share the news until after Infertility Awareness Week.  But I'm freaking, and I really need your support right now, so I hope you'll forgive my timing.

So, after all my false positive drama (which I'm still convinced it was false), I still hadn't gotten AF.  I took another test last Monday, and it was positive.  HCG came back 261.  I was shocked as hell, but also really happy, especially since it was our 7 year anniversary.  The second blood test was on Wednesday, and it doubled to 521.  Awesome, even better.

So my RE's office is like, ok we'll schedule you for an ultrasound in three weeks.  Ummmm... long time to wait?  Last pregnancy (last year), because I'm at a high risk for miscarriage they were testing me once or twice a week.  I asked for periodic tests this time just for peace of mind--I'll pay for them out of pocket, I didn't care.  I just wanted a heads up if someone was going wrong, so I wouldn't be "surprised" if you know what I mean. 

Things are going on well, but apparently I turn into a hypocondriac when I'm pregnant.  One thing I ALWAYS do when I'm preggo is wake up in the middle of the night to pee.  It's annoying, but I take great comfort in it.  The last couple pregnancies, every time I've slept through the night we've miscarried shortly after. 

Last night, I slept through the night.  I woke up at about 6 am and freaked the F out, because I realized I hadn't gotten up.  Also, my breasts were no longer tender. 

I left a freaked out message on my doctor's answering machine, and then made my husband call after I knew they had been open for 30 minutes but they hadn't called me.  I could practically hear their eyes rolling when they finally called me back.  You know what?  You're a frickin' RE's office!  You deal with women who have repeated miscarriage all the time.  You should be a little more sensitive, even if we are completely crazy.  But they agreed to have me blood test again this morning, and the doc ordered it stat--it should be in by the end of the day.

I know I sound crazy.  And I feel crazy now too, especially since I've got a little breast tenderness back. 

I just don't think I can go through this again. 

Every time I think, "this is it".  But I feel no different this time than any other.  It's not more special or different than the past.  What if I really am just completely broken inside? 

I'm just really scared right now.  I hope to God I'm overreacting.  If its bad news, I will be heartbroken.

Anyways, again I'm so sorry to surprise you with this news.  Obviously I haven't said anything on the blog, or even on Twitter.  In that vein, thank you SO MUCH to the Twitter ladies who met with me in the chat room early this morning.  I REALLY sprung this news on you, but I didn't want to call anyone else because I know no one else will really understand but you all.  So thanks for the talk, I appreciate it. 

I'll come back later today and post the results.  If you need to find me I'll be here for the next 4 to 6 hours, breathing into this paper bag... 

Again, thanks for the support.

PS:  I posted on Twitter but wanted to let you know here too, results came back normal.  I've never been so happy to have been a crazy overreactor in my whole life.  Now just wait for first appointment on May 13.

Checking In: Try Anything New Lately?

Hey ladies, forgive me that this checking in post is WAAAAAAY overdue.  I continue to be in this anti-technology funk, and have woefully neglected this blog.

So I just wanted to say a quick hello.  How is everyone doing?  Anyone trying anything new this month?  Would you recommend it?

This month I did two new things, the OV Watch and the Fertile Focus microscope.  I liked both of them and will use them again.  How about you?

Unhappy Anniversary

Well today marks the 100th day in my cycle (CD100), i'm not gonna go into it all now but basically doctor still won't give me treatment for PCOS, not a thing. She says there's no need which I disagree with but that's for another post, but for now this is my very unhappy anniversary. Before I go, I was wondering whether anyone knew any natural ways to try and bring on AF, no point waiting around for my doctor to sort it out !


Cara x

Wordful Friday

I was busy with my mum and birthday over Friday and Saturday so I'm posting my wordful Friday today :) sorry it's late !

“May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.”

Putting the DIE Back in Diet

Hey there Bleeps!

First off, thanks to everyone who participated in the Blog Hop from this weekend! The weekend got away from me, and I’m sorry if I didn’t make it over to your blog in time. I WILL be making my way through the list and saying WHAZZUP to all these awesome peeps.

Speaking of peeps, how was your Easter weekend? BTW, a happy belated Passover to all my Jewish friends!

Though my day was filled with family and good food, it wasn’t totally perfect for me. Why? Because Easter, among all that mushy religious stuff, is also a God-given blessed day to gorge yourself on chocolate rabbits, Reese’s mini-cups, and marshmallow chicks. Of course it’s God-endorsed gorging, haven’t you seen the picture with Jesus eating a Peep?

Chocolate and Nana’s cooking is always a recipe for total bliss for me, yet I am unfulfilled. Because I’m on a diet.

Blah. I hate that word. DIET. I’m certain it isn’t a coincidence that it begins with the word D-I-E.

While I’m not a bad or voluminous eater, I certainly have some weight to lose. It’s frustrating to me that I don’t eat much more or worse than other, more skinny folks, but yet my body is apparently operating under the pretense that we are about to go into a long winter, in Siberia, without any rations to sustain us whatsoever.

I think I shared in the past that Dr. H (my fertility doc) explained my body type as the kind that, should my oxen keel over and die in mid-field plowing, I could just pick up the yolk and finish the job myself. Great. Just awesome. A very convenient condition for the 1800s (pre-McDonalds) where a strong back and slow metabolism equaled a long life. Not so good right now.

On top of that, I’ve got that pesky PCOS. Ah, PCOS… where I can diet and exercise and still weigh 5000 lbs. Yeah, that's the one.

So, I'm doing some combination of a low-carb Weightwatchers... wish me luck.

How was your weekend?

Quick rant

Yes I'm tired and not thinking straight and probably blowing this out of proportion. But I need to rant for a second and y'all will understand.

After two years of working with one of my best friends and manager she left beginning of March. So I got a new manager two weeks later. This week my property got sold so essentially I'm working my old job for a new company. So naturally with all these new changes I've become very stressed and tired and my GERD acts up when stressed, so I'm nauseous. That's the background of the story I'm about to tell.

So my new manager sits me down and wants to talk about how unhappy I seem to be and how much I don't seem to like her. I'm PMSy and start crying and after telling her what she said earlier that pissed me off, I went on about how emotional and hormonal I am. How sick I've been feeling and how tired I am. And that's why I'm stressed. Naturally the prego question comes up. I tell her probably not. After two+ years I don't think the odds are in my favor. She tells me to go buy a pregnancy test and take it. I told her I have two at home(like the freak I am- always keeping PT on hand). Because she's A LOT like my dad and knowing there's no way she'll take no for an answer I walk the 30 seconds home to take the test. Naturally it's a BFN, but I'm not surprised. After all, every good infertile knows afternoon pee isn't as good as morning pee. And that testing 5 days before AF comes, like the box says, will not result in a BFP either. Before I left to test I warned her I may come in bawling. She says I can't be sad if it's a BFN.

So I wasn't. But man! I wish others who didn't have to try so hard realized the emotional (and financial) toll POAS has on someone trying for 2+ years. I mean, I just threw out 6- yes 6- empty pregnancy test boxes. Think of all the money I couldve saved there! All those tears that were shed over BFNs. I'm hoping she is less like my father and keeps her opinion about us TTC to herself. Otherwise I may consider looking for another job. And yes, I realize it's my own darn fault for letting her pressure me into POAS, but after having a sit down of "why don't you like me?" a distraction, like POAS is good. But really, you think I'd tell her first when it's a BFP but not my husband? Crazy! What a day!

-Brittany

Quick CD Update

Okay, so I've been really bad about blogging/twittering/facebooking lately so quick update. Still haven't gotten DH's results back, but he did get denied for the testing. I ovulated this month, but really late in the cycle. Like CD 20. So I'm supposed to start the day we leave for Florida next week. That'll make a fun trip! I'll probably test right before hand to make sure, although my cramps are starting to hit so I think I know the answer. Also a slight downer, my property was sold so as of today I'm starting with a new company and my insurance will lapse for two months before I can get it. Hope they don't try telling me I can't get pregnant before a certain time period.
So now to the fingers crossed update. Like I said, I did ovulate, or so my cervical mucus told me. For the past week I've been having stomach issues and been really really tired. That could be from the stress of a new job, but I can hope right? So fingers are crossed. Hope all are doing well!

-Brittany

My wordful Friday :)

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Unknown.